Unprecedented Scenarios

Dear Inconsiderate Instructor,

                       Currently, while your boss is away coaching, you have succeeded to make my desire to attend practice vanish. With all due respect, you are more suited to be his assistant, and work much better as a pair. The way you use your voice to instill fear is futile. Even your execution of explaining workouts is poor. I think my teammates and I would be much more willing to comply
with your demands, if you did so in a calmer tone. I do however enjoy how entertaining you make my visit. Everyday, tediously ranting and raving about some ridiculous "issue" is what makes practice interesting. In fact, your boisterous yelling is what the entire practice consists of. I suppose I could adjust to these new surroundings, but I fear that after a while my ear drums will pop. For example, listening to you yell, simply because I arrived forty seven seconds late, is pointless. I apologize that the stranger driving in front of me drove five mph slower than I, causing me to get stuck at a traffic light, because it was one hundred percent my responsibility. Furthermore, when you play music on the amplifier, to "keep us engaged" I would greatly appreciate songs from this era. So in reading this letter, I hope you consider my complaints and change your unreasonable rudeness and idiotic reasoning.

Sincerely, A Dissatisfied Swimmer