My story is a
complicated one that you might not understand. However that is why I am obliged to tell it to you. As I reflect on my situation and how I got
here, rage boils inside me. The person who put me here…she deserves this. Not
me.
When I think about
it, my story begins earlier than what I originally thought. Way before the
wedding. Back to when we met. I had
seen two applicants before her. I admired how she confidently walked in. She
looked up. Her soft blue eyes, stared around the room. I remember distinctly
our first conversation. She quietly on the sofa next to the library.
"Hi…I'm Jack".
"Kim" she
said shyly.
I hired her. Her qualifications were limited, but it made sense at the time. After about two weeks, she still hadn't come out of her shell.
I hired her. Her qualifications were limited, but it made sense at the time. After about two weeks, she still hadn't come out of her shell.
One day, she had
just finished organizing the books, and immediately moved onto her next task. I
saw her struggling with the coffee machine and couldn't resist helping her.
I grabbed an apron, and thought of
offering some assistance, only to realize I already was.
"What are you
doing?" she asked quietly.
I looked at her but
said nothing.
"All
fixed." I said. "You're Welcome,…Kim."
"Thanks."
she said firmly.
I walked away
thinking "My goodness, what a complete failure. My life is over". But
then someone else must have taken control of me because I walked back over
again.
"Hi." why
am I doing this?
"Hey,
Kim" why not?
I continued, "I
just ah…I…um… So, Kim how is your day?"
"Oh, it's
okay." after a brief pause she added, "Why do you ask?"
I turned to her.
"Why not?"
On our wedding day
she told me, "Love is a lot like hate, you see. You can't force it, and
you can not resist it. You just have to embrace it when it comes along."
That day two years ago is a day I wish I could redo.
The truth is I
didn't love her soft eyes or her confusing demeanor. All throughout our
marriage, the confusion destroyed me.
She should have never forced the love. I should have resisted. Due to
her mistakes, I stand lonely. Locked away from society- envious of her position
in this situation.
Hate
is like love. I couldn't force her to love her. She couldn't convince me
otherwise. And likewise, the hatred eventually came
along. I had no choice but to embrace it.
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